…because you’ll need it to win the contest that I’m going to tell you all about today!

So far this December my posts here have been sporadic.  Why?  Because a lot of the time that I would usually spend typing up posts or surfing YouTube for scary videos has been spent knitting scarves as holiday gifts.    I have found it to be an amazingly calming activity during what is for most people a very stressful time of year.

This is not the actual prize...Daniel Radcliffe was too quick for me!

Lucky for YOU I am ahead of schedule, and have budgeted time to knit a very special scarf for the winner of my contest!  And no, it’s not going to be some 2-foot long scratchy piece of muck like the one you got from Aunt Tillie when you were a kid and forced to wear when she came to visit.   I’m talking about a scarf that is truly:

a) super warm because it’s made of something nicer than cheap yarn from the local WalMart;

b) super funky (because I’m making it, and as you already know, I rock); and most importantly,

c) of a truly correct, extra-long Dr. Who/Harry Potter/use it to escape out a second story window length that will make you the envy of everyone you meet — most of whom are constantly rearranging their 2-foot long scratchy pieces of muck and just trying to fit them all the way around their necks to keep them from falling in the slush.

CONTEST F.A.Q.

Q: Oh, most be-KNIT-ficent Carrie, how can I win this fabulous scarf?

A:  Keep reading, and then enter the contest.   Was that question really necessary?

Q:   But how will I find time to enter a contest when I still have 500 stores to go to in the next few weeks in order to find all the perfect gifts for my family and friends?

A:  I’m glad you asked — your best chance to win is to actually visit 500 stores in the next few weeks!   How cool is that?

Q:  Enough already, cut to the chase — what do I have to do to win the prize?

A:  Inspired by a recent visit to a discount store with my mother that involved fits of hysterical laughter at many of the items on display, I want you to seek out the most hideous, loud, annoying, shiny, tasteless, stupid, ugly, ridiculous and just plain WRONG holiday-themed item you can find, snap a photo or take a short video, then send it to me.

Here's what I found so far...hideous, isn't it?

Q:  So how do I get you my entry?

A:  If you’re an overachiever, you can just drag your digital camera along on all of your shopping trips and then email me the results at jimsmuse@comcast.net , OR you can simply whip out your cellphone, take a picture and then send a picture/text message to my cell at 908-328-7500.   (If you’re outside of the U.S. you should still be able to send me a text message: just check with your mobile carrier for the proper international codes, or submit your entry via email.  If you don’t know how to send a text or picture message from your cellphone, just ask the nearest 12 year old and I’m sure he or she will be happy to help out!)   Don’t forget to add the cell number above to your own cell before heading out to the mall, peeps — and don’t forget to identify yourself either in the text message or via email after you get home to let me know which pic is your entry!

Q:  OMG OMG OMG did you really just give me, a total stranger, your cell number?

A:  Yeah, so what?  I just like to live on the edge I guess, and giving out the number seems to be the easiest way to encourage participation, because I know that things are busy for most of you this time of year. You want the scarf, you just don’t want a big hassle to get it, right?   Snap.  Send text.  Takes five seconds.  Easy peasy, lemon squeezy…

You could also use the above number to call me and say hello and then tell me how awesome you think my blog is, but that isn’t a requirement to win the contest.   Besides, I’d much rather talk to YOU than a creepy telemarketer, and they all seem to have my number already — why shouldn’t you?

Q:  Can I just send you a link to an image of some creepy Christmas or Hanukkah thingy I found on a website somewhere?

A:  Nope.   There are too many sites devoted to things like this, and I seem to see the same recycled pics and posts every year.  I’d like to add something new to the mix for a change, and that’s why I’m having the contest.   If I’m willing to make you a hand-knitted scarf, it seems only fair that you should be willing to actually take an original photo and send it to me, don’t you think?

Q:  What’s the deadline for entries?  Can I enter multiple times if I find a place with lots of ugly, scary, flashing things in it?   Can I make something extra scary with a holiday theme and take a picture of it for my entry? Do you think Santa will bring me a pony this year?

A:  The deadline for entry is December 20th at 9pm EST;  of course you can enter as many pictures as you want;  if you make something truly tasteless and scary in an attempt to win the contest it will only count if you actually display it in your charming home during the holiday season for the purpose of freaking out guests; and um, no — there are only so many ponies to go around, and I’m at the top of the list!

And now for today’s video, “Scarf Song” courtesy of Maple Rabbit.   I cannot tell you how completely awesome these insane keyboard playing girls are — you will simply have to have your mind blown by watching this weird and wonderful music video.

Good luck on the contest everyone!